Buddha, Mara and the Illusion of Self-Doubt

I believe the path to healing lies not in rejecting the parts of ourselves that we find painful or distasteful. I believe to feel whole, we need to learn to love all of the parts of ourselves, including our wounded selves that have adopted these negative beliefs and patterns. The task, then, is to learn to love ourselves, not in spite of our wounds and perceived shortcomings, but with all of it. This path involves learning to offer ourselves the same kindness and compassion that we would offer to a wounded child.

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Nine Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries

In my last blog, Healthy Boundaries – Healthy Relationships, I wrote about boundaries and why they’re important. And I promised that in my next blog I would offer tips on healthy ways to set healthy boundaries. If you’re not used to it, setting boundaries can be difficult at first. Many people simply don’t know how. So, here are nine ways to set healthy boundaries:

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Healthy Boundaries - Healthy Relationships

Boundaries are important. They are a vital component of healthy relationships. When a boundary is crossed, it’s important to provide feedback, saying it’s not okay. It's also helpful to say what you need. You also must be willing to enforce your boundaries in relationships – whether it’s in relationships with family members, neighbors or friends.

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Loving an Addict - Helping by Not Helping

I do a lot of work with addiction and the families of addicts. So I thought I’d write about how addiction affects families and offer more tips on self-care...So I’ve put together a list of eight strategies to stop enabling an addict or alcoholic. Only by getting out of an addict’s way can we actually help someone get clean or sober:.

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Addiction and Grief - Hand-in-Hand - an Opportunity for Healing

Dave had been clean and sober for 17 years when his father died of alcoholism. He’d been through addiction counseling and psychotherapy. He regularly attended meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, stayed in touch with his AA sponsor and diligently took the necessary steps to stay sober. In fact, it had been more than ten years since Dave had felt the urge to drink or use drugs.

Dave's father was a maintenance alcoholic. He lived alone in a one-room apartment with a bed, a chair, a television and his collection of empty bottles. He drank himself to oblivion every day. Eventually, he drank himself to death.

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It's Okay to Talk About It

My old friend Chris Primesberger posed an interesting question recently in a post on Facebook:

“Not a big deal,” Chris wrote, “but why can't we say someone died anymore? Passing is what someone does to overtake a slower driver on the freeway.”

I’ve actually pondered this question quite a bit. I’m a grief counselor, and I rarely hear people say someone has died. It’s usually that someone has “passed,” or “transitioned,” or “crossed over.” It seems that in this culture, we’ll do almost anything to avoid using the “d” word, like a name that must not be spoken.

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